The Real Other Blogs

     I took the time to look through other blogs on this site, and they all look creative. Most blogs are the Suburban couples introducing baby "Henry" and his first day of sleeping stretched out on his daddy in the early hours of the morning, Blah, Blah, fuck that where the black folks at?
     I aint seen nobody on here talking about the Nigga that didn't come home last night, or how you spent the last of your EBT on some milk for your bestie, cause yall taking care of each other kids, or how you picking through change to help your best bitch with that pack of Newports that you hate to smell...but you'll find it on mine, not enough pictures though, but that's because I can't find all the shit to do it properly.lol
    The craziest thing that is happening right now with me is my girls talking about their father, now Erykah well she remembers the parts of being pampered, and she misses her daddy and now each day there's something else that she says about him from "Where's my Daddy at?" to " I love my Daddy?" and just the same little reminders that I had from when Ekeylie went through the same stages of loving him pure and simple. Every little girl believes that her father is a Superman, that he can do no wrong until she grows and lives with him, even then sometimes that image how ever tainted, is quickly covered up..
     I remember telling Ekeylie all the good things, trying to build him up and make her proud and she always teased her brother about her daddy being this and her daddy being that, and its crazy cause riding in the truck going through drive through she told my friend the story of her father trying to dent her eye in...(laughing so hard inside) You ask wtf happened?
     I woke up one morning in Blytheville, AR, missing my private times with the kids, and thought how about keeping them at home with me and watching dvds all day, just between us cause he tended to over think how simple I am, so all day we laid around and slept and watched scary shit , well we didn't think of  his "close relationship" with her basketball coach.
     And well lets just say that in the heat of trying to pry what he already knew out of her he muffed her in the face for making him feel awkward, okay more then two people in our house were lying and he got caught just as we did, and with the muffing of the face in a fit of rage he lost the status of the "Perfect Daddy" and I lost the status of the "Protecting Mama". He thought we were laughing at him and in the very moment we were more afraid to be near him.
     I watched the hate fill up and I heard it pour into my child's ears and I hurt for her, cause she just knew he had put a dent in her eye.

Meeting Someone New

    I thought that if I used the same mentality of my exes then maybe I would move on to the next, something like Gucci Mane,
Now baby girl the dump
She no longer wants me
I'm no longer hired
She said that i been fired
On to the next one
Mo fish in the sea
Girls r like buses
Miss one next 15 one comin
    But damn that ain't nothing like me at all, so everyone that comes in my view is like icky, no, too young, too old, white, not him....but what the fuck was he.. Umm, he made me feel good, damn near Tony Tiger Greaatttt!!!! but at the same moment he could say some shit that make you want to run his side of the car into a brick house.I ask myself what do I deserve if I have waited so long to be dogged out again? I know plenty of women who I see getting the same treatment and I have been quick to pass judgement, and say some really Bogus things when I too ain't no better when it comes to the pickings.
    Right now I am on Aid and that shit is disturbing when I know that I have gone plenty of years without it. He has attempted to call twice and I looked at the phone like it was going to kill me to pick it up, but I also pat myself on the back for leaving it be, why, why why,???
    One reason is that I look in the mirror some days and I despise who I see, crazy bitch!!! Ungrateful motherfucker who got away from it for 10 years, and even tho I longed for him I had the nightmares, and memories to remind me that I got away..
   Another reason, oh goodness, its too many to even count... But Lord the thought of that body in them jeans and that tank top, ummmm scrumptious...this is why people stay in abusive relationships and can't move on to the next possibility of meeting someone new...

So Aggravated.......Lord What's Wrong With Me

Some people know what it is to be in love and have it returned to you the same exact way that you gave it, me well, not so much. I can't let go of the fact that I have been in love with an asshole for almost all of my life, and I have repeatedly did some of the dumbest things to be with him and for what? nothing but to be treated like I am beneath him and then to be treated like a fool. I know that loving someone means giving your everything and committing only to him or her, right? Wouldn't it be considered cheating to keep lines of communication open with people you've slept with? Would you want to be subjected to hearing about their past flings with other women or men while you lived only for the moments to be with that person? Could you live each day going back and forth without friends and family for a person who insinuated that you were a liar? Could you continue to fuck in a bed that possibly had people from your neighborhoods nut stains? I continue to ask myself the same question that he asked me "Why you wanna be with him?" I always dreamed him to be what I made up in my mind, and then to actually live it out, Lord what's wrong with me?

Facebook Funny

Kids Say the Dumbest shit...
 I was telling my daughter that I got dog hair stuck in my hand and that it hurt trying to get it out and she looked crazy and honestly said. " Will his hair mess up your DNA?".

Driving out to the mall my friend and I were reminiscing on some music when she said "Man I used to drop it like it was hot when this song came on"... well her son seems to think that at her age now she has to lay it down like it's warm....just something to laugh about seeing as it's true that we pop muscle relaxers just to feel normal these days...lol

We post all these funny things to Facebook so that our friends and family have something to laugh at each day..

All Men Are Created Equal

I have been in a serious relationship for what seems like forever. I mean from one relationship to another and back and forth with my kids fathers until I couldn't stomach the fact of being a fool anymore. Never once have I needed to think outside the box, you just don't do that where Im from, but here I am writing about my experience.
A couple of weeks ago I made a post on Craigslist saying that I wanted to meet someone capable of liking me for me, and not trying to rule me or use me to the brink of insanity, Is anyone out there? that was the question, and I found 25 men whom are looking for me (being very sarcastic). Mainly all of them  were older then what I would normally feel safe in liking, but hey who am I to judge, right?
Then I met him, we'll call him Fred, we began to text and that went on for days, he too is lonely and wants someone to hang out with, now again this isn't for the sex, it was for finding a companion..for real no BS
I tended not to pay him much attention and sent him texts when it hit me that he had text me first.
Now mind you my friend says that I have to be in a relationship cause I am scared of being without a man, but really I like being in the company of a good man, big difference..
We met and he took me to see an Orchestra, and me being black and him white, it was awesome, very nice. I set there and compared this to my other "dates", well really you can't compare 2 hours at a concert to 8 hours of hot nasty, but lovely relations, not a chance..lol
But it was nice to be taken somewhere of that magnitude, and we had a conversation that carried on throughout the night, in my mind I was thinking damn, for real I done met a white man off the internet and it wasn't even scary, until I smelt his Eternity, Hmmmm delicious,
 Well lets just say that I let him drive me home and drop me off with the intentions of him calling again after he got home, and that has been it, not the same amount of texting, no phone calls  until I get a text saying that he's going through some drama, son's girlfriend is pregnant and his ex wants to work it out....BS Not once did we talk about this ex girlfriend and the 3 kids that he told me about turned out to be 6 spread out between states, wow Now if that aint some all men be on the same shit

Wisdom Downstairs

Okay, so for the past couple of years I have been wondering when I would start to notice gray hairs, my grandmother had the gray along her temples, my mother pretty much in the same areas and well my aunt she gets it all over throughout her head. Am I not smart enough to get this wisdom that I have been searching for? Do I not have enough stress to get my patch?

It's been kinda funny watching my girlfriends start to gray and the reactions that they have when they see the single strand poking out in the midst of the beautiful red tinted hair color.

But today was my day. I cleaned the house as I do each morning since Im not working, and I slowly made my way up the steps to get into the hot shower that I've been longing for and for some reason as I looked downstairs there it stood in the fold of my vajayjay, a single gray hair. Wow, it couldnt be, was it and I looked until the blood rushed to my head, I have gray and as I went further I found more of them hiding between the curtains, my wisdom, all my stress, and all my aging was downstairs hidden.

I couldn't be prouder, I am carrying all my wisdom betwwen my thighs, my hidden valley...
Immediately I called my friend to tell her that I too am graying and should I shave to hide this aging process, I think not, cause all this time I have been wanting it and now I found my wisdom downstairs...