Meeting Someone New

    I thought that if I used the same mentality of my exes then maybe I would move on to the next, something like Gucci Mane,
Now baby girl the dump
She no longer wants me
I'm no longer hired
She said that i been fired
On to the next one
Mo fish in the sea
Girls r like buses
Miss one next 15 one comin
    But damn that ain't nothing like me at all, so everyone that comes in my view is like icky, no, too young, too old, white, not him....but what the fuck was he.. Umm, he made me feel good, damn near Tony Tiger Greaatttt!!!! but at the same moment he could say some shit that make you want to run his side of the car into a brick house.I ask myself what do I deserve if I have waited so long to be dogged out again? I know plenty of women who I see getting the same treatment and I have been quick to pass judgement, and say some really Bogus things when I too ain't no better when it comes to the pickings.
    Right now I am on Aid and that shit is disturbing when I know that I have gone plenty of years without it. He has attempted to call twice and I looked at the phone like it was going to kill me to pick it up, but I also pat myself on the back for leaving it be, why, why why,???
    One reason is that I look in the mirror some days and I despise who I see, crazy bitch!!! Ungrateful motherfucker who got away from it for 10 years, and even tho I longed for him I had the nightmares, and memories to remind me that I got away..
   Another reason, oh goodness, its too many to even count... But Lord the thought of that body in them jeans and that tank top, ummmm scrumptious...this is why people stay in abusive relationships and can't move on to the next possibility of meeting someone new...